Blue Christmas
by coyotegrrrl18
Summary: Two years after Holly left for San Francisco, Gail is a TO at division 15, and it's Christmas


**A/N Instead of writing a new chapter for Hemlock (which I haven't forgotten) I wrote this little holiday story. I was hoping to get this out to you before Christmas, but better late than never. I hope enjoy it. I also hope you are all having very good holidays and have a happy new year!**

* * *

The snow had started again, falling in a thick white sheet that covered the trash on the ground, and made the rundown neighborhood where they were waiting, and watching the front of the sleazy little bar look almost pretty. She sighed, and turned up the heat. It was going to be a long night.

"Sir?" the rookie beside her spoke up, "How long do you think we are going to be here?"

She rolled her eyes, and tapped her fingers on the steering wheel of the car, "I don't know Marcie. Sargent Shaw told us to be here until that loser we suspect robbed all of those elderly women shows up."

"Oh." He sounded a bit deflated.

"Sir? It's Harold, sir". He started again, "And you do know that it's Christmas tomorrow, right?"

She did know his name was Harold, and that it was Christmas tomorrow. In spite of always hating every single social climbing party her mother made her attend, she did miss having people to celebrate the holidays with, even though she would never admit it out loud to anyone. And that was at least part of the reason she took this crappy surveillance assignment in the first place.

"And your point is?" She turned to give him her best, deadly, fake smile.

"Umm… well…" She watched him squirm a little bit under her gaze, "It's Christmas Sir, and well... you know…"

"No Marcie, I don't know." She replied, "Why don't you tell me."

The new rookie kind of reminded her of Dov, back in the day, when he was oh so eager to prove himself, and yet, oh so annoyingly clueless.

"Well Sir, " He fidgeted, "Sargent Shaw made sure to tell me that if I didn't get you to the orphans Christmas party at the Penny tomorrow night, he would make sure I was stuck cleaning out the back of every squad car, every weekend until spring."

Oh, Oliver! Always trying to make sure she wasn't isolating herself. She smiled inwardly and shook her head.

"What." She demanded, and glared at the rookie who was staring at her. He did look like a deer in the headlights who was going to wet himself at any moment. She sighed.

"All right, all right, I'll go." she told him, rolling her eyes and watching him relax slightly.

The door of the bar opened, and two young men began to walk down the street, hoods of their puffy winter jackets up, hands shoved into the pockets of their jeans as they hunched against the cold. The rookie started to open the door of the car.

"Just where do you think you're going?" She asked, as she grabbed his arm to stop him.

"Well Sir…" the rookie began, but the men had already turned to look at the sound of the shutting car door, and started to run.

"Great." she cursed, "Ok Marcie, let's go!"

She pushed him out of the car, while shutting it off, grabbing the keys, and jumping out into the cold in one swift motion. God, she hated it when they ran!

"Eight seven two seven in pursuit of two subjects headed North on Brant St on foot" She radioed in, as she picked up her pace, "Requesting back up."

She was going to kill that rookie when they got back to the station! if Oliver didn't do it first. Her feet slid unsteadily on the ice beneath the newly fallen snow, and she watched the loser in front of her slip and fall as he attempted to duck into an alley. She steadied herself and leveled her taser at the seat of his pants

"Ok loser! Don't even think about getting up!" She told him in an overly sweet voice. "Or I'm gonna zap you in the nuts. Ten thousand volts straight to your junk," She gave him her very best, bright, fake smile, "So if you even think you might ever want to sit again, just don't."

She had him on his feet and one cuff on his wrist when she heard the shot. She pushed him roughly into a near by lamp post where she cuffed his arms around the pole, before taking off in the direction of the sound, cursing under her breath. Stupid rookie!

"Hey! Hey, you can't do this…!" She could here the loser yelling as she turned the corner into the dark alley. She ignored him and clicked on her radio.

"Eight seven two seven, shots fired in the vicinity of Brant St" She radioed in, and ran faster, feet sliding in the slick pavement, "Requesting back up… Now!"

"Fifteen oh seven responding." Chris's familiar voice crackled over her radio.

"Diaz! What's your twenty?" She demanded.

"I'm about three minutes out." Came the reply.

She breathed a sigh of relief, until she saw it. There was blood on the snow, glimmering black in the dim light.

Shit.

She drew her weapon and slowed her pace, glancing cautiously about.

"Forman?", She called out, hoping her rookie would answer.

Nothing.

"Marcie?" She called again.

"Halt! Drop your weapon!" She heard her rookie order from behind a stack of wooden pallets.

As she turned toward the sound, her feet slid in a patch of ice under the snow. There was a sickening crunch, the world spun out of control, and she hit the ground with a dull thud.

Great.

Bright headlights swept the alley where she found herself looking up at the darkly shifting clouds, and there was snow falling on her face. Breaks squealed, a car door slammed, and the sound of hurried footsteps crunched on the snow, heading in her direction.

"Gail?" Chris's worried face was bending over hers, "Were you shot? There isn't much blood… just some on the snow…" He was touching her face with a warm hand, "Come on Gail! Stay with me! Help is almost here!"

"Jesus Christ Chris! I only slipped on the ice and twisted my ankle. Stop touching me!" She snapped, "And where the hell is my rookie?"

She tried to sit up, but the world swam and white hot pain shot up her leg making her feel sick. She groaned softly and hoped he wouldn't notice.

"You don't look ok…" Chris continued, looking worried and lifting her up in his arms, as if she was a baby.

"Put me down Chris!" She demanded with a dangerous edge to her voice, "And tell me where Marcie is or I swear the blood you will see on the snow will be your own."

"OK. If you insist." He replied as he lowered her feet to the ground. "Forman is over with Callahan talking to him about firing his weapon at the perp, and Fox is by dumpster looking for the gun the suspect Forman was chasing threw away after firing it at the two of you. The perps are in custody in my cruiser, and Oliver wants to talk to you as soon as you get back to the House."

She instantly regretted standing up, as pain so sharp it made her grit her teeth shot up her leg as she put weight on it.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" She cursed as she tried to take a step toward Chris. He caught her just as she was about to fall. "Stupid rookie couldn't just stay in the car." She groaned.

"Come on Gail, I'm gonna take you to the hospital to have that ex-rayed just as soon as McNally and Price get here to collect your rookie, and bring the suspects in for questioning." He insisted.

"I'm fine Chris!" She glared at him. "I don't need to go to the hospital."

"Then I'm sure you don't need my help walking over to the car either." He said, letting go of her arm and standing back to look at her with his arms crossed.

She tried to take a step forward, but her ankle gave way, her leg crumpled, and she landed on the ground with a muffled yelp.

"That's it!" He told her as he scooped her back up, "I'm taking you to the car, and then to the hospital."

She hit him on the shoulder to get him to put her down, but he ignored her.

* * *

It was late and it had been a long time since she had been in the bowels of Toronto General Hospital. In-fact, it had been a long time since she had been in Toronto at all. Why she had agreed to meet Lisa here instead of just meeting her and Rachael at the bar was beyond her. She was sure she already knew what Lisa was going to say about her latest failed relationship with Susan, an up and coming prosecutor in the San Francisco DA's office. She sighed, Lisa had told her to meet her here, but Lisa was nowhere to be found. Maybe Lisa had gotten called into emergency surgery at the last minute, as she was still working one weekend a month in the E.R. so she could keep her hospital privileges. Holly doubted it, but it was possible. She swore if she caught Lisa sneaking out of the supply closet with some random woman, again tonight, she was going to kill her!

After two years in San Francisco, she was home for the holidays, and maybe this was a mistake. She usually avoided big family celebrations, like Christmas, or weddings. The thought of the last wedding she attended flashed briefly through her mind, causing her to smile sadly, and shake her head. If she was going to be honest, if only to herself, she would have to admit that a large part of the reason she had come back had to do with a caustic, beautiful, complicated woman she had left behind. At the very least, she needed to attempt to retrieve the piece of her heart she had given away. At best… well… Gail didn't belong to her, and she was probably busy being a mom and therefore unavailable, or maybe she had found someone else. She almost hoped Gail had found someone else, someone who could make Gail happy. And yet, here she was back in Toronto, needing answers, and wanting to know if they could at the very least be a part of each other's lives. Not exactly a fairy tale.

The halls of the hospital down by radiology were dark and quiet as she continued her search. She was headed away from Lisa's office, and in the direction of the Emergency Room to find someone who could page her elusive friend, becoming more frustrated by the moment. If it wasn't for the fact that she would be meeting Rachael's new girlfriend for the first time, she would have just gone back to her sister's townhouse. Lisa be damned! She was just pulling her phone out of the back pocket of her jeans to call Rachael and tell her she would be on her way without Lisa when she heard it.

"I'll have a blue Christmas without you."

Someone was singing.

"I'll be so blue just thinking about you."

Someone who sounded just like drunk Gail doing her best Elvis impersonation over the phone last Christmas Eve, just after She had gotten home from her new job's holiday party. The sound made her freeze and her heart beat faster.

"Decorations of red on our green Christmas tree"

But Gail wouldn't be here unless… She felt herself flush with dismay, and started to walk quickly in the direction of that voice.

"Won't be the same dear, if you're not here with me"

She picked up her pace as she entered the emergency room waiting area.

"and when those blue snowflakes start falling… that's when those blue memories start calling…"

The singing suddenly stopped. She sighed. It wouldn't be difficult for her to believe she had imagined the whole thing. After all she had conjured Gail in every dark bar, on every crowded street, and anywhere she saw the flash of short blonde hair and a leather jacket, or worse, at karaoke nights at her favorite lesbian bar, for the last two years.

Where was Lisa?! And God forbid anyone kept Lisa waiting! But somehow Lisa just couldn't afford her friends the same courtesy. She felt her ire begin to rise again. As she stormed past the ambulance bay she noticed the police cruiser fifteen oh seven parked in between two ambulances and the fire department rescue truck.

Oh no!

She spun on her heel and headed for the admitting desk. She was just about to ask the charge nurse where Officer Gail Peck was, and use her old credentials if necessary to gain access to her, no matter how sketchy that might be, when Lisa came out of the nurses station.

"Holly! Hey!" Lisa exclaimed, as she rushed to greet her "We have had such a crazy night! I hope you weren't waiting long."

At least Lisa had the decency to look slightly guilty.

"I'm sure you were having a crazy night." She replied, pointedly looking at the pretty, young nurse's aid who blushed and smiled at Lisa as she scooted past them, "It would have been nice if you had let me know that you weren't in your office, but then again being considerate of others was never quite your strong suite."

"Oh, come now Holly," Lisa smirked, "I was just being helpful. You know how busy the holidays get."

The singing started up again.

"You'll be doing alright with your Christmas of white…"

"Yeah, I bet you were…" She rolled her eyes, "By the way, is that Gail I hear in there singing?"

Lisa shrugged "Probably just some drunk who got into trouble on Christmas… you know how the holidays are…" she replied as she hurried Holly toward the door to the garage where her car was parked. "Come on, Rachael is waiting!"

"And just who's fault is that?" She shot back with a glare, but reluctantly followed Lisa out into the night.

"But I'll have a blue, blue Christmas…"

Whoever was singing, she knew just how they felt.

* * *

it wasn't fair! She thought as she popped a painkiller into her mouth and washed it down with the last swig of her beer. Why did she always have to come to these stupid things? Couldn't they just leave her alone, and let her stay home for once? She wondered as she watched them all laughing and caring from her seat at the bar. The pain in her ankle seemed to throb in time to the cheery Christmas music too, making her scowl.

"How are you holding up there Peck?" Oliver materialized next to her, with her rookie at his side. "Good thing the two of you caught those guys, and now you can be here enjoying the festivities!" He clapped her on the shoulder.

"That's just great Oliver." She grumbled

"Sir? How is your foot Sir? Can I get you anything?" Her rookie asked with all the eagerness of a puppy.

The black eye he was sporting looked worse next to the white bandage on his cheek and the one across his nose where he had run into a board sticking sideways out of a dumpster while chasing the perp down the dark alley. Luckily, the nails in the board, that had caught his cheek, missed his eye. The doctors had told them he was very lucky, but he had broken his nose when he slipped fell. All of the other rookies and some of the other cops were congratulating him like he was some kind of a hero. If the Division Fifteen's Holiday Party at the Black Penny hadn't been an open bar, he would have been cleaning up with people buying him drinks, and her too.

She held up her glass and looked sadly at it.

Oliver smirked and turned, "Yes Forman, why don't you go get Peppermint Patty here another round, and get us both a glass of that good bourbon that Angus keeps for me behind the bar." He said with a dismissive wave of his hand.

He turned back to to look at her in a fatherly way.

"What." She grunted.

"I'm glad you decided to come out tonight." He said with a smile.

"You told me to be here." She smiled back and then rolled her eyes at him.

"You know Darlin', you should come out to the cabin with Celery and me tomorrow and spend Christmas with us." He said

"I don't know…" She replied.

"Come on Gail," He went on, "I know you don't have any plans, Dov is going to meet his girlfriend's family in Detroit, Chris will be with his son, Chloe and Frankie are…"

"Ugh!" She interrupted, "Don't remind me! I caught them defiling the rug underneath the Christmas tree when I got home from the hospital."

Oliver laughed, "And now that you are out on medical leave, you won't be working, so... " He paused to look seriously at her for a moment and leaned in conspiratorially, "Celery is quitting the healthy macrobiotic diet for the holidays. She will be making a Beef Wellington, with potatoes and gravy, and baking her grandmother's famous whiskey chocolate cake to honor her ancestors, she says."

"Well, " She replied, suddenly turning to smile at him, "Why didn't you just say so!"

"Good!" He nodded, and smirked back at her, "Good. We will be expecting you then."

It was getting late as she stumbled from the bar, tired of all of the looks she had been getting all night. She wished they would just stop talking behind her back and say it to her face. Yes, she was a bitch, and worse she was a Peck, and yes, she would have ended up alone on Christmas if it had not been for Oliver. And now she was in this stupid walking cast. She felt pathetic.

Last night had been a disaster too, running into someone she never wanted to see again didn't help her mood either. She and the rookie had been waiting in the emergency room for someone to look at the cut on his face, and for her x-rays to come back.

"Well, well, well, I see you haven't improved at running." That smug voice she would never forget spoke up.

She turned to glare at the doctor who was holding Forman's chart.

"What's wrong Bitchtits?" She replied, "Slumming in the emergency room tonight? Run out of women willing to let you go all Frankenstein on their boobs?"

Lisa huffed. "You should be pleased that someone with my expertise is on call and willing to stitch ip your partner so an ugly scar won't ruin his lovely babyface." She shot back.

"And I thought working on blue-collar, beat cops was beneath you." She rolled her eyes.

"You must be in a lot of pain with that fractured ankle," Lisa moved over to stand beside her.

And before she could say anything, or stop her, Lisa had hit the button on the morphine pump that she had not used yet on her IV, and the world started spinning out of control.

She leaned heavily on her crutches as she hobbled toward the bus stop. She had escaped from the hospital just after dawn, getting a ride home with her rookie. She didn't tell him that they wanted to admit her for observation. It had all become too much; the pain, the nightmares, the hospital, and vivid memories of the Christmas she spent with Holly were all haunting her. She just needed to be left alone. She knew she should be cold, but the combination of alcohol and painkillers was making her pleasantly warm and sleepy. She sat down on the bench to wait for the bus and closed her eyes. Just for a little while. Just as the snow began to fall again.

* * *

"Hey!"

Someone was shaking her.

She was dreaming about eating bacon and donuts in bed with Holly. Light was streaming through the curtains of Holly's bedroom, making her skin glow. Her stomach growled.

"Hey Gail!" They said again, a little bit louder this time.

She was just about to tell them to fuck off when she opened her eyes and fell into the most beautiful brown eyes she had ever seen. She knew she must still be dreaming. She wondered what Holly was doing now, and hoped that she was happy in San Francisco. The woman who often haunted her dreams smiled that maddening crooked smile, the one that could make her do anything, and tilted her head adorably at her.

"Gail! Hey!" Holly said again.

She smiled back, and laughed to herself.

"You said that already." she replied, knowing that at any second Dream Holly would disappear.

"I knew it sounded familiar." Holly's voice was warm, but her eyes were worried.

It was just like Holly had been on the night she had cut off all of her hair in the bathroom of Holly's townhouse.

"Come on Gail, let's get you into the car before you freeze to death." Holly continued

"I'm waiting for the bus." She told Dream Holly confidently, with a sleepy grin.

"Wouldn't you rather get a ride home in my nice warm car?" Holly asked, a little bit more forcefully.

She laughed. Holly would want her to do that. Too bad this was only a dream.

"I bet you say that to all the girls." She smirked at Dream Holly.

"Only the really drunk ones." Holly rolled her eyes, "Now come on Gail, seriously, get in the car."

Dream Holly was awfully pushy.

"Ok." She conceded, "But only if we can keep eating bacon. I'm not that easy you know."

Holly looked amused, made a really rude noise in the back of her throat, and answered, "Oh… I know!"

Dream Holly was laughing at her again, and helping her to her feet.

It was the light that woke her, the brightness of sunlight on snow, and the smell of bacon cooking. She cuddled further into the warm nest of her pillow that smelled like Holly without opening her eyes. It's funny, she thought sleepily, how you can remember simple things about a person, like the way they smell. The light was beginning to annoy her. That and the throbbing pain in her ankle. She knew that she should take an other pain killer, but she didn't want to feel that out of control, again. She wondered who had come in and opened the drapes in her bedroom. She was going to have to give Chloe a stern talking to, even if she was cooking bacon.

She heard the sound of her bedroom door opening. Damn it! She really was going to kill that tiny little muppet! Why had she told Chloe that she could move into her second bedroom when she broke up with Dov for the last time? She opened her eyes and realized she wasn't in her own bed. She sat up with a start to see Holly closing the door behind her, juggling a tray with two cups of coffee and what looked like Gail's phone.

What the?

"Yeah, she's just waking up. Thanks Oliver, I will have her call you back after she has her first cup of coffee." Holly laughed and smiled into the phone, "Yeah, I'll ask her what she thinks about that."

She could feel her heart starting to melt as Holly turned to smile at her.

"Yes. Of Corse! No need to thank me." Holly responded, "Yes! It's been nice talking with you too… Ok… bye." she hung up the phone.

"Holly? What… what are you doing here?" She sputtered when she could form words.

Holly sat on the edge of the bed placing the tray with two coffees and a plate of bacon between them.

"Well," Holly replied slowly, "Right now I'm bringing you some breakfast."

"Wait…" She said looking around her at the once familiar bedroom of Holly's old townhouse, "Wait… What am I doing here?"

"Well," Holly tilted her head with a twinkle in her eye, "You did say you would come with me if I kept feeding you bacon." She picked up a crispy, fragrant, brown piece of greasy goodness and waived it at Gail who opened her mouth reflexively to receive it.

"Mmmm but why are you here, here?" She replied, still chewing with her mouth full and waiving the remaining stump meat in her hand.

"It is Christmas," Holly replied, "And I missed you."

She couldn't seem to help it. Holly's lips were like a magnet drawing her in. And kissing her was everything she had remembered and was better than any pain killer she could take to make her forget her ankle. It was like sunshine, and hope, and yes, like the best Christmas morning! When they finally broke apart, slightly out of breath, foreheads touching.

she whispered "What about San Francisco?"

"I'm on Sabbatical for the next six months on a research project here in Toronto." Holly whispered back,

She leaned in capturing Holly's lips again, and then her brain kicked in. Damn it! "Wait.. wait! Holly? We need to talk." She said regretfully.

"I know… I know.." Holly replied. "I guess being a mom has made you the responsible one."

"I'm not." She felt her throat clench at the thought of Sophie, but she was just glad that Sophie had a real family right now, and yet… "I didn't get to be Sophie's mom."

"i'm sorry." Holly looked sad, and concerned.

"No, it was for the best." She replied, closing her eyes against the tears that threatened to fall, "And so was your move to San Francisco."

"Gail." Holly said softly, "Gail, look at me."

She opened her eyes to find Holly's face mere inches from her own. Kissing Holly again reminded her of everything she had been missing over the past twenty two months, and two days, and sixteen hours, not that she was counting. It was intoxicating.

"I missed you too!" She murmured into Holly's lips.

Holly turned and carefully placed their breakfast tray on the bedside table to give herself more room to scoot closer on the bed.

"Oliver wanted to know when he should expect you, and if I would like to come up to the cabin too." Holly told her.

"Later." She replied, grabbing Holly by the collar of her hoodie to drag her flush on top of her, "But right now, we have so much lost time to make up for!"

"Ok." Holly grinned knowingly at her, taking care not to bump her injured leg, before leaning back in to kiss her full and deep.

She sighed happily, and thought, best Christmas ever! And then there was no more thinking.


End file.
